The Beginning
by merrybeary
Summary: Jane Shepard started out as any other colony kid, but change is the one constant in the galaxy. Watch her as she grows, learns to deal with things most never have to, and finds solace in a galaxy in flux. I've decided to break this up so it's not massively huge. For now it's f!ShepardxOC's. Eventually it'll be f!ShepardxGarrus.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first attempt at writing a fanfic to share with the general populous. I'm a bit nervous, but the more I thought about what it must have been like for Shepard to live through her past, the more I wanted to try writing it. Forgive me if not all my thoughts connect properly. I haven't decided on the pairing just yet, but expect there to be some past relationships in her life.

* * *

Mornings on Mindoir are always the same. Wake up before dawn, get dressed, do chores, eat breakfast, take a shower, eat breakfast, and go to school. And just like every other morning since the Shepard family staked their claim on the colony, Jane is rolling out of bed a few minutes late.

"Jane! You're sixteen years old already, time to start getting up on time at least." Hannah Shepard says from her daughter's door way. She's got her hands on her hips and is shaking her head at her daughter's groggy, fumbling hands reaching for her boots.

"I'm sorry mom. I promise, I'll get up early tomorrow, five minutes early every day." Half her promise is slurred by a yawn, but she smiles anyway. Jane runs a hand through her tangled blonde hair, the length of which hits her about at the waist, before tiring it back in a messy bun on top of her head.

"You say that every morning." Jane's mother says with a chuckle. "Don't you have a test today in xenoanthropology?"

"Yeah, and I'm definitely prepared for it. If I don't get and 'A' on it I'll wake up ten minutes early from now on." Jane rubs her face and blinks more than a few times before getting out of bed fully.

"Well, I guess you're safe there at least." Her mother turns then and heads out to start on her own morning chores. Jane's unwavering good grades are the only things that keep her parents from being more strict about waking up in the morning. Both her parents are retired marines who fought in the First contact War. So both are religiously disciplined and keep up a lot of their old lifestyle, even now after being a part of the first wave of colonists on Mindoir and spending all of the last sixteen (for her mothers) to fifteen (for her father) years as farmers. Early wake up, regular exercise, and plenty of gun practice; all of which Jane has been raised to be a part of since the Skyllian Verge isn't the safest place to live.

One thing her she'll always be proud of her parents for is their lack of xenophobia, particularly toward the turians. (Unlike some other people who have never been in the marines, let alone the war.) They held fast to the opinion that the whole war was a tragic mistake and that even though they fought hard and followed their orders, the didn't have anything against the turian species. As a consequence, Jane has grown up fascinated by all the new species they are occasionally exposed to. She's even considering going into medicine so she can study xenobiology more extensively. But those thoughts are for an hour when the sun is up in the sky.

Jane tromps her way through their pre-fab home towards the kitchen. Her chores consist of kitchen duty, cooking for everyone working out in the fields, prepping things for the harvest coming soon. She's happy to make sure everyone gets a filling breakfast, since it means she doesn't have to do manual labor so soon after waking up. As she goes about gathering supplies and begins cooking, she hums to herself. She's careful to keep a clean and orderly kitchen, because she's one of the few humans on the colony who knows anything about dextro-amino cooking and has taken it upon herself to make something to take to school for Mr. Ractis, her xenobiology teacher. Other students accuse her of kissing up to the alien, and while she does have something of a crush on the dark skinned turian with he piercing green eyes and bright orange face paint, that's not the case. He's only on his second year of teaching on their colony, and she can't imagine he has easy access to good food very often. She spends her entire month's allowance on supplies for one mean for him, granted he definitely makes more money than she does, but she can't imagine he gets better than nutrient paste very often. She won't pretend she knows a lot about the specifics of all the foods she makes for him or what it's actually supposed to taste like, but she follows the recipe to exactness and he's never complained about her food so she can't be all that bad at it.

Cooking for humans on the other hand, she's a wizard at. By the time she's finished cooking for the group of farmers, there's more than one head poking in through the open door. She hears them chattering about breakfast from outside, but they all know better than to come inside before one of Jane's parents unless they want to be on dishes duty after they eat. It's not long before she hears her father walking into the kitchen. Brushing his large hands off on his pants.

"Jane, my girl, you spoil us. What are we going to do when you graduate and go off to college? We'll have to live like turians, eating nothing but nutrient bars for all our meals!" John Shepard exclaims, leaning down to give her a kiss on the cheek before reaching over her to gather plates for everyone for breakfast. Jane laughs a little at her father's antics.

"I promise I'll bring someone under my tutelage next year so you'll have something good to eat when I'm gone." She says while gathering up hot pads for the table for the hot skillets to sit on.

"Do I hear dissention in my own home?" Jane's mother says from the doorway. "Who do you think taught that girl to cook?" The rest of the neighbors were gathering at the sink to wash their hands for breakfast, chuckling to themselves a bit at the Shepards.

"God himself taught that girl to cook!" John said with a wide sweeping gesture over the table. "you just opened the door. I love you dear, but everything you cook tastes like military rations." He kisses his wife quickly in an attempt to derail her ire, but gets a smack on the chest anyway.

"I like military rations." Hannah grouses at her husband, though she smiles a bit at his rubbing his chest in response to the sting of her hand. "Let's just be grateful for her while we've got her. Before we know it she'll be some bit shot on the Citadel, and we'll be vaguely remembered in her busy life."

"Come on mom, I'm not going to be one of those kids who leaves home and never comes back to visit. And how could I make it through the week wit Hough calling home? That's almost criminal neglect of ones' parents." Jane chides as she puts Mr. Ractis's food in a container.

"Stop talking like we've already lost her and let's eat." says their older neighbor, Mr. Stevens, who is already standing behind a chair, waiting for everyone to settle down some. With a hearty laugh from Jane's father and a little conceding, they all sit down to a lively breakfast.


	2. Chapter 2

I'd like to thank TGee for the review. I'm still really nervous to be posting something I've written up for the whole world to see, but it is helpful to hear a few kind words about this story. Hopefully I can continue to be decent.

* * *

Jane stares at herself in the mirror after her shower. Her cornflower blue eyes peer out at her pale skin; tracking the few scattered freckles on her face. Her mother told her once when she was little that freckles are angel kisses. Going on that logic, she muses to herself that the angels must not like her very much; but, also that there is at least one out there that does love her, and it graces her with a new freckle whenever it's proud of her. Jane hopes this angel will guard her in the decision she is trying to make. Her aptitude score have already drawn the attention of the alliance, and she has been approached more than once at school by recruiters from the local garrison. No doubt they hope to get her early on since most of the kids on Mindoir will probably be staying home to take over the family farms. True there are more than a few from her grade and the next one up who are being targeted, but they're still the vast minority.

Jane's main concerns focus on going into medical school. She's not sure still what she wants to focus on, but she does know she'll have a hard time making it through all the schooling she thinks she'll need without some sort of additional funding. And the Alliance seems like the most reliable source she can think of. Of course her parents have saved for her eventual college career, but if she ends up somewhere in the xenobiology field, then it will take longer than normal. She doesn't want to be that kind of burden on her parents.

She sighs as she ties her hair up in a ponytail.

There's also the other thing. The thing she's managed to be able to hide from everyone. She's a biotic. It's not that she's afraid her parent's won't love her any more if they found out. It's that she knows that because of their sense of loyalty to the Alliance that they would ship her off to be studied, trained, and turned into some sort of living weapon. Granted, she was afraid and ashamed the first time she'd manifested that blue glue that accompanies most all biotics. But she'd been a smart child even at six and instead of telling anyone she just looked it up on the extranet. She might not be incredibly tech savvy per say, but she's good at researching things. Lucky for her all asari have biotics and it wasn't difficult to find information on it.

Now however, it's becoming harder to keep a secret. She's stopped growing taller, topped out at 5'6", but she still eats like she's in the middle of a growth spurt. And the growing attention from the neighbor boys makes it difficult to hide away in the barn and try to train herself without an amp. This leaves her with all kinds of excess energy that threatens to explode along her skin when she gets to frustrated. She knows an amp would help her keep things in better check, but if she can hold on for just another 2 years; then maybe she can just join the Alliance and say something then...

'How do you even bring something like that up? Hey mom and dad, would you be angry if I told you I've been hiding my biotics from you for the past 10 years?' Jane thinks to herself with a snort. "Right, cuz that would go over real well." She mutters to herself while applying her eyeliner. She prefers to only wear eye makeup; hoping all the time that her angel will give her another kiss, and keeps other make up out of the way so there's a clear space for one. Today however, she puts on some clear gloss on her lips. Just because she isn't kissing up to her teacher, doesn't mean she shouldn't look decent when she brings him his present.

"Do you even hear yourself? You sound like a stupid girl, mooning over your science teacher like this." Just then there's a knock at the bathroom door, making Jane jump, and she's mortified when she hears her father's voice.

"Jane dear, you're going to be late if you don't hurry. Wouldn't want to have to rush through giving Mr. Ractis his food would you?" the teasing in his voice is thick and she swears she can hear him chuckling over the sudden rush of blood in her ears.

"I'll be right out!" She calls back, hoping that she sounds like she doesn't care about her father's teasing. The blush staining her cheeks tells another story however, so she wills her embarrassment away before stepping out of the bathroom. Her father is waiting for her in the hallway with a smile plastered across his face and his arms are crossed over his chest while he leans against the wall. "Dad, I don't have time for more of your teasing." Jane mirrors his stance, but with a frown on her face.

"Now, now. Calm down. I have a couple of presents for you." He says as his smile turns bright and toothy. "For all your hard work. Your mom doesn't think we should get you your own one of these till you graduate, but I don't seem the harm in giving you one of mine. It's not as new and fancy as some of the ones people are walking around with today, but it's reliable and I tweaked it a bit to more of your style. Now we can play our game anywhere on the colony." Her father pulls her hand free and slips a thin bracelet over it that hugs snug to her wrist, giving her a little wink. Jane just blinks at it, her mouth agape with surprise.

"Dad, is this you're old Cipher omni-tool?" She keeps her voice hushed, not wanting her mom to hear, but the gratitude is there, in her eyes.

"Yeah. Figured since you're about to ace yet another test you deserved a treat." Her father chuckles when she flings herself at him, hugging him tight around the neck.

Thank you dad, I love it." And she does. Anything higher tech than this old model Cipher would be wasted on her, but now she can learn on it and get better and she appreciates that her father knows her well enough to know that's what she really cares about.

"Ah you're welcome Jane, but I have something else for you." He pulls her away from him a bit. "Don't think I haven't noticed all the attention the boys around here have been paying you the last year or so. Even if your own attentions seem focused elsewhere, no matter that it's currently fruitless and mildly inappropriate." She as about to make a retort to his comments about them being unfair, but he stops her with a look and she just listens. She thinks mildly to herself that she'll make a pretty good marine if she can keep her moth shut like this. "So," he continues, "I got you that scope mod you've been wanting for your striker." His broad smile is back when his daughter's face lights up like a flare. She's practically jumping up and down while he continues to talk. "It's all ready and on your pistol, safely tucked away under the drivers' seat of the car."

Jane can barely contain the volume of the happy noise that escapes her as she hugs her father again. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You're the best daddy in the whole galaxy!"

John Shepard laughs then. "Of course I am! All anyone would need for confirmation on _that_ fact is look at _you_. Ah, I love you Jane, and I'm so proud of you."

"I love you too dad." She gives him a big kiss on the cheek just as her mother calls down the hall.

"Not that you're through arming our daughter to the point of legal limitation, it's time for you to go to school Jane. If you're still wanting time to give Mr. Ractis his present anyway."

Jane is too elated to react to her mother's jibe and rushes down the hall to the kitchen to grab the packaged food and kiss her mother on the cheek. "Bye mom! Bye dad! See you after school!"


	3. Chapter 3

I feel a little silly writing this chapter, I know I didn't write it as intense as I wanted it to be, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

* * *

Before Jane heads off to school, she pulls out her pistol to check the new scope. It's become a morning ritual for her to shoot down whatever targets her father sets up for her in the morning. Today is three empty bottles set on the fence twenty yards from the house. With a smirk, she shoots them down with ease, thanks in part to her new scope. With a satisfied nod she holsters the gun and heads out, a giddy feeling in her stomach the whole way.

.

She strides quickly across the campus, which is well within the main colony and benefits from the same careful planning most extra-solar colonies receive. It's beautiful, but her parents were right; she's later than she prefers. So she ignores everything and everyone around her as she makes her way to the science wing.

Mr. Ractis is always early, and there's no beating around the bush with him. This is a military assignment for him, a goodwill peacekeeping one, but still military; and he conducts his class that way. Out of class however, he's quite personable to those who take the sincere time to get to know him. And if Jane has learned anything about turian facial expressions over the past year, the happy looking turian equivalent of a smile means she's become one of his favorites.

"Jane, I was wondering when you were going to come around with another 'present'." He uses his fingers to do an air quote, like the way he's seen other humans doing it. "I thought I had your schedule down, but you still surprise me." Most humans would see his comments as some sort of feeling of entitlement to the treats she brings. Jane sees it as chastisement for not adhering to a more disciplined timeline.

"I'm sorry Ractis, I wanted to make something special and the ingredients took longer to get here than usual." Jane would probably be scolded for leaving out the honorific of Mr. is anyone else were in the room, but he assured her long ago that it's fine to be more informal when they're alone. More lenient turian personal liberties and all that. Jane's father is right that their relationship is mildly inappropriate by human standards, but it's still rather strict by turian standards.

"Oh really? What did you make this time?" The turian looks curiously at the container Jane sets on the desk.

"You know I can't pronounce it right. I just hope it looks and tastes recognizable. It tasted alright to me this morning."

Ractis shoots Jane a sharp look, making Jane cringe. "You tried it yourself? You could have gotten yourself killed!" He mandibles flutter in agitation. Jane can't help the tiny, happy leap her heart makes to hear he's actually worried about her. But she quashes it quickly, telling herself any decent person would worry over mixing with different DNA.

"It's alright, really. The last time I went to the doctor I asked them to check for a dextro allergy since I work a lot with your food. It's very mild, I promise, just a bit of dry mouth; but really I'm ok." She says with a small smile. "Anyway, I read on the extranet that this is a dish turians usually make for someone they're close to. I didn't quite understand all the meanings since some of it didn't translate over, but I hope you like it."

Ractis seems to relax when she explains away the danger, but he became interested in the food again when she starts explaining it. The plates on his forehead shift in the turian equivalent of a raised eyebrow. When she pulls the lid off the container Ractis bolts out of his seat and takes a step back, his whole face open in stunned surprise.

"What? What?!" Jane asks, worried she's offended him. She knew she would have researched all the implications of this dish, but it had looked so pretty in the picture.

Ractis says something that doesn't translate, even with the added translator in her new Omni-tool. But the deep subharmonics in the words pull deep in her and she has the feeling she's stepped from mildly inappropriate territory into _massively_ inappropriate. But she can't say anything. She can only continue to stare at him until he can pull himself together. The conflicting emotions flickering over his face as his eyes move back and forth between her and the food.

He's still not completely decided when he clears his throat and begins speaking. "Jane, this is something a turian female would make for her mate on the night they have bonded. They would, eat it together before moving onto more, rigorous activity." His piercing stare bored into her, watching for her reaction to this information.

She's just as stunned as he was, a deep blush rising in her cheeks and spreading to the tips of her ears. "I, I didn't… and I ate some of it already. Oh my, I can't…" She's babbling she's so embarrassed, so to close her mouth she darts the lid forward, meaning to cover the food and take it away; but his hand grabs one of her wrists and slowly draws it and the lid away from the food.

"Perhaps not today," He says slowly, "but one day." There's a low rumble in his subharmonics that Jane feels through his hand, more than she hears. He deliberately picks off a piece of food and eats it; his eyes fiercely pinning her in place.

And suddenly the heat rolling over her skin has nothing to do with embarrassment and everything to do with the hint of a promise of something to come in his eyes. And curse or bless those turians and their superior senses.

Ractis somehow picks up on the change in her and tentatively begins drawing her closer to him.

Jane's heart beat goes into overdrive; but just when she's a hairs' breadth from being pressed against all that glorious turian male, the chime over the intercom indicates the start of day and he lets go of her wrist to take the lid from her. His military training taking it's place to fulfill his duty properly, but there's still a heat in his eyes.

"Thank you Jane." He says softly, touching his forehead to hers for the briefest moment that takes Jane's breath away. That's one bit of turian intimacy she's familiar with. "I'll look forward to this." He takes a step back from her, just before a student walks into the classroom.

Jane recovers enough to smile and reply. "You're welcome Mr. Ractis. I like cooking for you." She turns to leave with a few parting words. "I'll see you later in class." As she heads for her class, there's a bounce in her step and a smile in her heart.


	4. Chapter 4

Ugh, new job is killing me! Glad to have to work, but here suffers. I hope you'll all enjoy it. I'm certainly enjoying writing it!

* * *

Jane's day passes normally, (better than normal really if she's being completely honest with herself) as each passing class brings her closer to xenobiology. Of course she passes her xenoanthropology test with flying colors, and she thinks fondly of the omni-tool she's now officially earned, and of her continued safety from waking up too early in the morning.

She's just reaching Mr. Ractis's class when an alert is issued.

"Please be advised, a colony wide alert has been issued. All students are to remain in their classes. Any student not in class is to proceed immediately. Failure to comply will result in harsh consequences." The schools' VI repeats her message and Jane quickly ducks inside the classroom and immediately moves beside Mr. Ractis. The look of relief on his face is difficult to catch, but Jane manages it. Oddly enough it puts her even more ill-at-ease with the situation.

"Ractis what's going on?" She asks quietly enough that no one else will overhear, too much talking going on.

"I'm not sure, but I don't like it. Something is blocking my comms." He says while looking back down at his omni-tool. Now that he's sure Jane is alright, he concentrates on other matters. "This can only mean one of two things. Catastrophic system meltdowns all over the colony, or we're under attack." His voice is quite calm, but Jane can tell by the tense line in his back and the set of his mandibles that he's anything but.

She's never seen his face so tight. It makes her nervous. "If we're under attack then I need to get my gun. It's in my car and I doubt we'll have a lot of time to maneuver with."

"This is why you're my favorite. I don't want to put you in the path of danger, but I fear that will be everywhere in a few minutes and I'd rather you were armed." Ractis turns of his omni-tool and stands up from his desk. "Attention class! We are moving next door to Mrs. Hanety's room where you will wait until the order is called that it is safe. Let's move!"

Jane loves watching the power one man with the respect of his students can wield. Not a single person questions the plan, they just all stand up and quickly file next door.

Ractis takes Jane by the wrist and pulls a pistol from his desk, before leading them through the hallways rather than across the faster, open ground of the courtyard. When they finally walk outside they see the smoke. Panic squeezes Jane's heart, it's coming from as far out as the farms.

"My parents!" She can't stop the outburst or her beginning step to run for her car and try to make her way back home. But the hand on her wrist stops her.

"They can handle themselves. For now, we have an entire school that needs evacuating. Let's get your gun and hurry. We only have a couple of minutes 'til they get here." As Ractis speaks, they hear an explosion, this time from the opposite side of the colony. "Slavers." Ractis hisses. "Rounding us up into the center of the colony no doubt."

Jane is trembling, she's not prepared for something like this. She doubts anyone in her school is prepared for this. But she's determined to follow the advice her parents have always given her during shooting practice. To try to stay calm and pick her shots. It's the best she can hope to do.

She presses her lips into a firm line and nods one. "My car is this way." She says, beginning to walk again, more quickly this time. Ractis follows, letting go of her wrist, and they retrieve her pistol.

Ractis eyes the scope and other mods her can see. "If I know your parents at all, that gun is barely legal for your age."

Jane nods. "True enough. It should be able to pull it's weight in a fight. Does just fine on inanimate objects after all." She tries to grin, but it comes out as a grimace. Her hands tremble as she checks the heat sink, and Ractis steadies her hand with his.

"Come on, we need to evacuate as much of the school as we can." They take off at a jog, this time crossing the courtyard since time is shorter than they want, and head straight for the front office. When they get there however, they run straight into a group of five batarians attempting to hack the lock on the office door.

"Get them!" On of them yells, and three of the slavers all raise their guns. Ractis ducks across the hall to take cover there, while Jane takes the wall they were closer to.

"Shoot to kill Jane, don't hesitate." He calls to her right before ducking out of cover to shoot at the advancing group. Jane feels her stomach roll over when the bullets start flying, and she thinks she might throw up, but with their shields weakened, she pops out of cover and shoots all three in the head, one after another. She's panting from the adrenaline coursing through her veins and the sick feeling in her gut at watching their heads explode. She goes back to cover and presses her head back against the wall, listening and trying not to break into hysterics.

The two still at the door, let out enraged cries and take cover, abandoning the office door for now. Ractis doesn't hesitate and is popping in and out of cover again, shooting out the shields of the remaining batarians and killing the one that was at the door. He trusts Jane to follow suit, and she does. In no time is feels like they've taken out the whole group.

The two of them work well together.

"They must be targeting all the schools while harassing the borders." Ractis says, approaching the dead slavers and picking up a rifle. "Nice shooting. I guess all those stories you told me about your parents drilling you like you're a marine are true." He spares a moment to look at her proudly before going for the office door.

Jane would have been more pleased with the praise, except right that moment she's too busy heaving up breakfast into the closest planter. She's shaking worse than before when he calls her into the office.

"You're doing well Jane, now sit down and put your head between your knees." Ractis says as he moves around the counter.

She does as she's told and listens to Ractis as he quickly fills in the staff on the situation and readies them to evacuate the school. The sound of his voice, thick with command, is soothing behind the blood pounding in her ears.

She sits up when she feels a three-fingered hand on her shoulder. "Let's go, we have to do what we can to protect the students." He says just before the principal's voice sounds over the speakers, announcing the immediate situation and evacuation of all students and staff.

Jane nods, not trusting herself to speak and stands, following him. Everything blurs for Jane. One minute she's jogging down the hall after Ractis, students filing quickly towards the parking lot, the next, one of the outer walls explodes, taking out dozens of students and Jane's fighting for her life. Only she and Ractis have weapons, and the batarians mow down several more people before the nets come out. Chaos rules around them and Jane feels herself being pulled away. She panics, only to find it's Ractis. "What are you doing?" She asks, finally finding her voice. "We have to help them!"

"_You_ have to run now Jane. Get away from here. Hide, don't let them catch you." He orders her.

"I'm not leaving you here! You'll get killed by yourself." She retorts.

"Jane…" But she cuts him off.

"No! I'll only leave if you do!" She demands it off him. She has no idea what has happened to her parents, and she isn't willing to leave him here. She can see the frustration in his expression, and hear it in the sharp growl he lets out.

"Fine! Then move!" He takes hold of her wrist and breaks into a run that she only just keeps up with. And with the dodging and shooting they do in the mean time, it's a miracle they make it outside.

It's everywhere.

Screams come from every direction and it's almost too much for Jane. She can feel herself trying to freeze up, the only thing keeping her moving is the steady grasp Ractis has on her wrist. They escape the school grounds and make it into the city, ducking behind a building to catch their breaths.

Jane squats down and can't hold it all in anymore. She starts crying. Not weeping (thank the lord), but crying anyway.

Ractis pulls her up and holds her tight. "Don't cry Jane. It's not really your style." His voice is gentle and encouraging, and Jane clings to him and his awkward attempt at comfort while she can.

But the she pulls back from him enough to look up at him. "My style… Ractis I could just…!" She pulls him down by the cowl and presses her forehead to his firmly for a few moments, a bright smile on her face. She quickly pulls away completely and pulls up her omni-tool.

The turian expression of 'surprised' is one of Jane's favorites and she's getting it in full force at the moment.

"My dad said he tweaked this omni-tool to more of my style so we could play our game anywhere on the colony." She scrolls through the communications methods and laughs triumphantly when she finds what she's looking for. "Ah ha! Thank you daddy."

She shows the screen to a very confused Ractis. "This has a low band radio transmitter, shouldn't be blocked on standard comm blocking these days because it'll only carry morse code and nobody's used it in centuries. It'll be slow but if we're lucky there will be an Alliance ship in the system." She pulls up the system and begins tapping away.

"What is Morse Code?" Ractis asks, his translator not picking it up at all/

"It's an old form of communication. Pretty sure it was the first in human history that could carry a message hundreds of miles almost instantly. My dad and I learned it so we could send each other messages that no one else could understand from across the farm. It was nice." _Is_ nice, she forces herself to think.

"I'm sure your parents are alright Jane."

Jane presses her lips together and nods, setting the message to look. "Now we pray I didn't alert every last Batarian on the colony to out position." She doubts it, but today has been a day of mixed luck.


	5. Chapter 5

I want to thank everyone for their reviews and their notes. I wish I could get more up faster, but as it is my schedule is variable and I sit down to write whenever I have time. I love writing this story and I hope to go all the way through the games.

* * *

Jane never does figure out if it's the distress call that attracts the batarians, or if it's just bad luck that brings them in their direction; but it doesn't take long for the pair of them to think they've been found.

They take cover behind a couple of large trash cans when three batarians walk by the alley. They must have seen movement, because they turn to walk down the alley. The rifles they're carrying look wicked to Jane's untrained eye, which is probably the point. She knows they're not as accurate as her pistol, but they have a higher fire rate and it only takes one bullet to kill you. Or worse, make it so you can't run away.

"We need help." She whispers just loud enough for Ractis' translator to pick up.

Ractis nods and glances around the side of his trashcan. The slavers are checking inside trashcans and burning through the locks on doors they come across. They're looking for anyone who might be hiding.

"Kill them first." Ractis replies. And that's all the warning she gets before he leans out of cover and begins shooting at the slavers.

Jane tries not to think about what she's doing as she follows suit. Since she hadn't been the one to look, she hadn't realized the slavers found a couple of children. Suddenly Jane isn't so squeamish about killing them anymore. They're taking _children_ alive to lives of slavery! Anger wells up inside Jane and suddenly her skin is alight with the blue glow of biotics. She doesn't know what exactly she's doing, but the streaks of blue that slam into the batarians, making them stagger, is satisfying.

The two of them combined make a deadly pair, both their aims sharp with practice. As soon as the children have a chance to run, they take it, making it impossible for either Jane or Ractis to stop them. But once all the slavers are dead, Jane takes a moment to hope they find someplace safer to hide. She doesn't notice at first that Ractis is staring at her, a none to happy expression on his face.

"Why is it that the fact that you're a biotic isn't in any of your files?" He asks.

When she finally looks over at him, she blinks owlishly, her jaw dropping just a bit. She hasn't actually meant to use her biotics, especially not in front of Ractis. She knows his species is even worse about biotics than her own, and she hasn't wanted to turn him away from her.

"I, uh…" She flounders with what to say to him for the second time today.

Before she has a chance to figure it out though, an explosion rocks the ground beneath their feet and one of the buildings they're standing next to begins to crumble.

Ractis grab's Jane's arm and drags her down the alley, back the way they came. Brick rains down around them and Jane curses these 'permanent' buildings in the main colony. True, a pre-fab shelter like the one she lives in would have blasted them full of shrapnel before giving them time to run, but it's a brick that hits her in the shoulder, so it's the bricks that are cursed. Jane staggers under the blow, her shoulder lighting up in burning pain, but she manages to keep moving with help from Ractis.

Once they're clear of the building it's like they stepped into a war zone. Bullets fly in every direction it feels like, and Jane considers it a miracle they find cover behind a flipped car without getting hit.

"Alright, our goals are to stay alive and not get captured!" Ractis yells over the din.

Jane can barely hear him over the screaming and gun fire. "We have to find my parents!" She can see a squad from the garrison trying to push back or even make a dent in the forces attempting to take the school. Worse are the people being hauled off in nets. The faces of people she knows from school burning themselves into her mind, full of fear. Who knows where they're being taken?

"Jane, I don't think that's a good idea. That would take us hours on foot." Ractis looks strained, like he's trying hard not to blow up at her. He's used to the atrocities of war, not her and he's trying to remember that.

"Then we steal a car! I don't care how; I _need_ to find my parents! I can't let them end up like that!" She flings a pointing finger in the direction of captured people.

Ractis grabs her by the shoulders and gives her a firm but short shake. "We cannot help them! When this is over we can look for them, but right now we have to take care of ourselves and those around us."

Jane can feel her lower lip quivering. She wants to argue with him, but the steadfast look in his eyes keeps her from it. She knows he's right. She gives his a nod, a quick jerk of the head, and he lets her go.

During the time Ractis is trying to bring Jane back under control, a batarian finds them and opens fire.

"No!" Jane cries when the turian slumps to the ground. She lights up like a flare and bioticly throws the batarian across the street and into a wall. She wavers in place, not used to exerting that much force, a few moments too long. And sooner than she would have liked the slaver is getting to his feet.

Jane fumbles for her gun, her hands feeling thick and unable to get any purchase on her weapon. Just when she thinks she's dead, gun fire rings out beside her; making her scream on instinct.

The batarian falls dead and Jane realizes it was Ractis who was shooting.

"Ractis!" She gasps, her hands flying to his shoulders. "Are you hurt very badly?" She can see a pool of blue blood forming around him and knows the answer to that.

He grasps her arm tightly, desperately. "Don't let them win." He gasps out. "_Never_ let them…"

"I won't. I promise." She says firmly. She's freaking out on the inside. He's dieing, because of her. Because he had to calm her down. "I'm sorry." She whispers as his grip on her arm loosens and his hand falls.

Swallowing hard, she takes her pistol and throws herself into fighting with everything the both of them would have had.


	6. Chapter 6

I've been putting off commenting at the end of chapters because even though you guys are awesome and your reviews are total confidence boosts, I wasn't sure how much of what I actually felt while writing was making it through until Ractis died. Now, I'll be moving to the bottom of a chapter and commenting there from here on out. Thanks, you guys are all amazing. ^_^

* * *

The next several hours are excruciating and mostly a blur. Jane remembers throwing a car at a group, but blocks out the blood smear on the ground. She doesn't remember how many people she shot and killed, but she knows it's more than she ever thought she would.

She remembers getting shot in the leg because it hurt like mad, but deciding to ignore it since it didn't seem to have hit anything major. She remembers her face splitting open when she tried to do a singularity she'd read about. She'd never managed it before, but she'd been desperate, and now she's sure she's going to have a scar from her eyebrow, across her nose, and wrapped around her cheek. She remembers getting shot in the shoulder while she was distracted wiping blood out of her eye.

But mostly, she remembers being found.

Jane is behind a burning car, hoping the heat will help mask her location, panting and waiting. It's been a while since she saw any slavers, so she knows her hiding place is at least decent. But that hasn't stopped her from being prepared anyway.

She can't bring herself to be able to move anymore, so she's propped her arm on her knee, keeping her pistol at the ready; waiting for another slaver to come around. The pile of bodies that was accumulating had already attracted over more than she could count and stay detached from.

This time however; it's not a batarian who appears, but an Alliance Marine. It takes every ounce of willpower left in her not to shot on reflex.

She lets out a strangled cry of relief. "Thank God." She whispers, letting her battered and bruised arms slump into her lap. She must look as terrible as she feels, because the shocked look she gets from the marine isn't one she'll ever forget. He rushes to her side and reaches for her hands. Jane thinks he's going to take her gun and panics.

"No!" Sorely abused adrenaline kicks in and she summons every biotic bit left in her to push him away, but all she can manage is a weak flickering of blue along her skin.

It has the desired effect though. He backs off a little, but he smiles gently at her. "There now, it's alright." His voice is deep and soothing. "I'm just going to check your pulse. You can keep your pistol." His brown eyes look like they're full of truth to Jane. "As long as I can have one of your hands."

Her muted blue eyes peer at him for a moment before she opens her left hand in as much offering as she can manage.

"There we go." His fingers trace along her wrist, searching for her pulse. His eyes however are searching the rest of her injuries. Finally he reaches for his comm. "I need a medical evac on my position. One teenaged girl, multiple gunshot wounds, severe blood loss, and other injuries I'm unsure on."

When his attention returns to her, his face is full of calm reassurance. "We'll get your out of here and patched up. My name's Commander David Anderson. What's yours?"

She can tell he's trying to keep her focused and alert now that she doesn't have a threat to focus on. "Jane Shepard."

"How old are you Jane?"

"Sixteen."

"How long have you been fighting?"

"I, don't know. I was, about to go to xenobiology when the attack started." She struggles to grab onto what feels like a lifetime ago already.

"Have you been alone this whole time?"

She shakes her head. "Ractis… Mr. Ractis, my teacher, was with me. He's dead because of me." Jane had managed to not cry the whole rest of the time she'd been fighting. But now that it's over, the tears threaten to spill over. She chokes them back, but whimpers unconsciously into her breathing. "How did you find us?"

He knows she's talking about the colony. "Our scanners picked up a Morse Code message about an hour ago while we were patrolling the system. We almost didn't catch it except our ship's VI understood it as a current active distress call."

Jane smiles and let's her head thunk back onto the car. "Thank you daddy." She says to the sky. "That was me. I sent out that message. My dad and I learned the code so we could talk privately, just the two of us. It was a game." She trails off.

"Where are your parents Jane?"

Her whole mouth begins to quiver. "I don't know." Her voice cracks, but she clears her throat. "They were at the farm, but who knows where they are now. They're both retired marines though. They have to be safe."

"I'm sure they are." His voice is reassuring, and Jane is grateful that he doesn't know for sure. It lets her cling to hope.

Then two men show up with a gurney. A nod of understanding passes between them and the Commander before they set to work. One scans her with his omni-tool before setting to work applying medigel to her wounds, even though the bleeding has mostly stopped, which Jane suspects is because there's not a lot left, it's mostly for the pain and to protect her from them reopening when they move her.

The other clears some ground with the Commander's help so they can lay the gurney close to Jane to make it easier to move her. But he also reaches to relieve Jane of her weapon, not knowing or maybe not caring that it's her own personal weapon and not something salvaged from the battlefield. He's probably just following procedure for all she knows. But when she stiffens, Commander Anderson stops the soldier.

"Jane, it's time to go. Let me carry your gun." When she tightens her grip, she reminds Anderson of a wounded animal. "I'll stay right with you and keep it safe. I promise."

Jane takes a deep breath and lets it out with a shudder. "My dad just put the scope on it this morning." She's not sure exactly why it's important he knows that; but when he nods like _he_ understands why, she hands the gun to him.

As soon as the gun is out of her hands, they move her to the gurney and she has trouble keeping track of where the Commander is; her vision doing a weird tilting thing after spending so much time without moving herself. It's easier once they're moving toward their ship and Commander Anderson is keeping pace beside her.

Jane does her best to keep her eyes on the Commander. She doesn't want to look at all the death around them. It's bad enough that the sky is so filled with smoke that you'd think it's an overcast day.

When they get back to the ship, it seems like the cargo hold has been converted into an emergency med bay. (It's a small frigate, Jane didn't catch the name.) No doubt the actual med bay was being saved for surgeries. The two men who are carrying her lay her down on a cot before heading back out. "How many have you found?" She asks Anderson.

"A couple dozen so far. Not nearly enough. Mostly what's left of the garrison and the civilians they managed to protect. But we're still searching, and another ship is on its way to help." He doesn't mention if they'd been engaged with the enemy at all, and Jane doesn't ask.

"Commander?" An older man with graying hair, wearing a medical officer's uniform approaches her cot.

"Doctor Evers. This is Jane Shepard. Found her near the secondary school." Anderson fills in the doctor, a grimace crossing over the doctors' face.

"I see." Is all he says before activating his omni-tool, probably pulling up her records from the Alliance database before scanning her himself. "Took quite a beating it looks like. We'll need to get her into surgery as soon as possible. Get those bullets out and repair her shoulders, get some blood in her. For now, let's get an IV going."

Jane doesn't notice the other marines with the doctor until they move. They work quickly to set up the drip and tick a needle in her. She watches as they clean a spot on top of her hand, watching the dried red-brown of her blood briefly flare back to a darker red with the water and disappear to be replaced by the pink white of her skin. She thinks for a moment that she sees dark blue, but it's quickly gone from her eyes.

"Williams, get her as cleaned up as you can." The doctor orders before moving on to the next survivor.

"Sir." The marine answers with a salute, gathering a few packets of medical cloths. Nice to have wipes for something like this, Jane thinks to herself; instead of basins of bloody water like they used to hundreds of years ago.

"Let me give you a hand Williams." Anderson says, grabbing a couple of packets himself and opening one.

"Ah, thank you sir, but don't you need to get back out there? I can handle this." The marine looks worried he'll be in trouble or that he already is in trouble; at least to Jane. But the Commander shakes his head.

"Promised I'd stay with her."

"It's alright if you want to go out and look more. Just give me back my gun." Jane interjects. Both men look at her, surprised by her interruption, and Anderson chuckles. He carefully places the pistol the pistol under her pillow and holds a finger over his lips for her not to mention it to any one.

"I'll go if you're really alright being left here, but I did promise to stay right with you."

Jane looks around as best she can at all the people she can see. She doesn't immediately recognize anyone, and lets out a shaky breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

"Maybe, just until someone finds my parents." She looks up at Anderson and presses her lips together to keep them from trembling, and is relieved when he nods.

"Alright, I'll put an alert on their names so when they're found they'll be told you're safe. What are their names? He says, pulling up his omni-tool.

"John and Hannah Shepard." She whispers, almost afraid to call their names to fate's attention.

"Hannah?" Anderson pauses. "Lieutenant Hannah Shepard is your mother?" He asks, and when Jane nods he smiles. "I served with your mother during the First Contact War. Can't wait to see her again. You're right to believe they're still alive. They're both good soldiers." He shakes his head at a memory. "But let's get you cleaned up." He says after flagging her parents. "Don't need to scare them anymore than they already will be."

Jane never does get to see what she looks like, but that comment coupled with the look he gave her earlier gives her a pretty good idea. When Anderson starts wiping blood smears from her face, she finally relaxes a little. His confidence in her parents is soothing, or maybe there's something in her IV other than water, but soon she finds herself asleep.

* * *

Anyone who's played the Colonist background should know what's coming very soon. And, hurray for Anderson! I love that man. Five points to anyone who can guess who the captain of this ship is. Yeah that Williams is supposed to be Ashley's dad. Don't expect to see him again. He's not actually part of the crew; he was being transported to another assignment, but got roped into helping out. I can't imagine Anderson being ok with the treatment the Williams family gets from the rest of military command, so if her were ever posted under Anderson, I think he'd fight to make things better for him. That's just my head cannon though.


	7. Chapter 7

When Jane wakes up, she can't see out of one eye. Or rather, she can't open one of them. She can tell she's still on board the Commander's Ship, so she carefully turns her head so she can lift her hand to her face. She's sort of surprised to find a cloth bandage.

"I see you're awake."

Jane jumps and is surprised when she doesn't hurt as much as she thought she would. She turns her head the other way and sees Commander Anderson walking up to her cot.

"Commander. How long was I asleep?"

He squats down by her cot and places a hand over hers. "Not long before we got you in to surgery. But after the anesthesia, it's been about eight hours." He looks tired, weighed down.

"Have _you_ gotten any sleep?" She asks, and she notices that he gets a sort of surprised look on his face; like he's not used to anyone worrying about his sleep, or lack there of.

"I'll sleep when we have things figured out. Besides, I wanted to be here when you woke up. There's been some news." When that weighed down look returns, Jane is filled with dread. "I'm sorry Jane, we found your parents in a very similar situation as we found you; but they were dead. They were together at least.

Jane's vision blurs and it takes a moment of wrestling with the wrenching pain inside her chest to realize she's finally started crying. The commander doesn't offer hollow platitudes of things being alright, he just squeezes her hand.

Now, Jane has never been one for open weeping like some girls, but with her entire life ripped out from under her; the force of despair makes every sob feel more necessary than breathing.

She doesn't know if she's the one who moves or if the Commander scoops her up; but she finds herself clinging to Anderson. He's arms around her feel like the only thing keeping her from breaking apart.

He lets her cry herself back to sleep and the next time she wakes up her head is throbbing. She's thankful for the IV keeping her from feeling thirsty after a cry like that, but now she needs to use the bathroom.

Sitting up in her cot, she throws her legs over the side and groans at how stiff her body feels. Nothing feels quite real to her. She wishes that everything was just a spectacularly bad dream. But when a marine walks over to her instead of her mom, she knows her wishful thinking is going to go unheeded.

"Everything alright?" The marine asks.

Jane realizes she can see out of both of her eyes again, and wonders if she's a deeper sleeper than she thought she was. How can people mess with her head and she not wake up during it? After a moment she realizes the marine is waiting for a response from her. "I need to use the bathroom." She says, looking around the cargo hold and trying not to focus on all the sleeping forms around her.

"Come on. We need to go up to the crew deck." The marine says with a small jerk of her head toward the elevator. She grabs the IV stand to make sure it comes along with Jane, unsure how there the teenager is at this point, and walks her to the bathroom.

"What time is it?" Jane asks, trying to keep her volume low as they walk past other displaced colonists.

"0455." The marine answers after checking her omni-tool.

"Five minutes early." Jane whispers to herself.

"What?" The marine asks, looking at her suspiciously.

"Oh, it's nothing." Jane blushes a little, and when that answer doesn't look like enough, she elaborates. "I just, I promised my mom I'd wake up five minutes early from now on."

The marine's expression softens and she smiles a little, a little pity filtering into her expression. Something Jane is not at all comfortable seeing.

Jane eyes the showers in the women's bathroom and feels her scalp itch to be cleaned. But the needle in her hand stops any thoughts towards recklessly doing as she pleases right now. She'll have to ask the doctor or maybe the Commander the next time she sees one of them.

She takes her time washing her hands, careful of the needle, but also so she can look at her reflection. She doesn't entirely recognize herself. Her hair still has blood and dirt in it, and the angry red line that crosses over her face is shocking. But then she supposes the scar that's going to leave is a fitting keepsake of the end of her life as she knows it. A bitter hatred of Batarians begins welling up inside her, but she pushes it down. _That_ would not be a fitting keepsake or a worthy tribute to her parents. Not after all the trouble they went through to teach her not to hate a species for the individual.

Instead, she lets herself hate slavers. She vows that no matter what the species, any slaver she comes across will die. The hard look in her eyes is completely foreign to her, but she knows looking at herself now, that she can keep this promise.

As they make their way back to the cargo hold, Jane watches the goings on of the ship and crew. In a way they remind her of everyone back on the farm. Rising early, working together, and starting their days; and Jane feels the anger in her filter into sadness. She feels left out, and left behind. She contemplates asking if she can help with anything, and gives her shoulders an experimental rotate to see how they're doing. She cringes at the pain that shoots through her right shoulder.

She has no doubt that whatever is in the IV drip is keeping most of the pain at bay, so she simply leaves her question unspoken. They'd probably tell her no anyway. She follows the marine dutifully back to her cot, but instead of going back to sleep, she sits up and watches, hoping to see the Commander at some point, but also hoping she doesn't see him for quite a while. 'He needs to sleep if he's got to handle all this.' She thinks to herself. She wants to thank him for everything he's done for her, and maybe get a feel for what will happen to her now.

With the way her luck is going, she'll probably be put into 'the system'. She's read too many historical novels for her own good she decides, and can't help all the images that are conjured up at the thought. So she has only herself to blame when her emotional rollercoaster continues to plow through anger, worry, and sadness; all while she waits quietly on her cot.

* * *

Trying to imagine how Jane would deal with everything was a little difficult. This actually ended up a little different than the first draft I wrote in my notebook. I figured she would internalize most things, even at sixteen, since you rarely get to see Commander Shepard really reacting to things. Not until the third game, and only if you let her. Sorry there was such a long break between chapters, this was a difficult one for me to write.


	8. Chapter 8

It's while Jane is munching on a ration bar and watching people going about their business with the refugees on board that she sees Dr. Evers. She manages a small smile, though it doesn't quite reach her eyes.

"Hello Doctor."

"Good morning Jane. How are you feeling?" He scans her with his omni-tool while he talks, trying to keep things moving along in an orderly fashion.

"A little sore in my right shoulder." She says, knowing he's only asking about her physical state. But she ventures on a little more anyway. "And, really dirty. Is there anyway I can get a shower?"

Dr. Evers nods while she talks. "If I were to take out your IV, your shoulder would hurt a lot more. The round you took was very well placed. Meant to incapacitate. It ripped through all the muscles and lodged in your shoulder blade. We got it out, but the continued use of your arm while you kept fighting exasperated the problem. It's going to take some months to heal completely." When he pauses he looks to Jane for understanding.

"I can take the pain. I can't take the blood still on my." She says with that hard set in her eyes. She almost welcomes the pain back in her mind. Her continued wobbling between anger, sorrow, and numbness is slowly driving her mad. The pain will at least give her something tangible to hold onto.

The doctor nods then. "I guess if you're going to be spending more time with us, a shower won't be a bad idea. If you hurry, you can join the group of ladies about to go up." He talks as he removes the needle from her hand, covering the puncture with a small swipe of medigel.

Jane nods and thanks the doctor before trotting off to join the group of women at the elevator.

.

It's a bit awkward at first to be showering with other women, but it really doesn't take long for the pain to start settling in again. Jane's focus quickly narrows to getting clean and not letting her arm freeze up on her.

Her clothes were practically destroyed (the downfall of growing and using cotton for clothing she supposes), so when she's given a set of BDU's to wear; she's grateful, but also a bit sad. It's like watching the last bit of what she has from her life disappear.

After she dresses, her arm feels like it's trying to rip itself off. And while she desperately wants to go back to her IV, she thinks an old fashioned sling might do just fine. Let her keep her pain, but relieve her arm of gravity's effects.

Her head is swimming by the time the group she's with makes it back to the cargo hold. She slumps down onto her cot and slips her hand under her pillow to let her fingers run over the cool metal of her gun.

But as she gropes under her pillow, she realizes it isn't there. Panicking, she throws the pillow over her head and the pain in her shoulder is temporarily forgotten.

"Where is it?! Where Is It?!" She's yelling, and more than one marine is drawn by the noise. The other colonists are looking at her in shock and worry.

"Miss please calm down." One of the marines grabs her arm, thankfully her good one, trying to get her attention and calm her down.

"Where is my gun?!" She demands, attempting to pull her arm free.

The marine grabs her other arm, trying to keep her still, but that brings all the pain there back to the fore front of her mind. She siezes up and lets out a strangled cry of pain.

The marine lets go of her and she curls in on herself, cradling her arm to her chest. She tries to keep her breathing even but deep. Her teeth are clenched together and she can vaguely make out the shuffle of people around her.

"Shepard?" She hears a voice about at her level. When she opens her eyes, she sees a familiar face. The marine who'd helped clean her up a bit when she'd first gotten on board.

"Williams?" She grits out.

He smiles and nods. "I have your weapon." He says softly. "I'm not actually a part of this crew, and I wanted to help out. So I'm cleaning and repairing your gun for you. It went through about as hell as you did and needs to be taken care of just the same as you." Jane nods once at his words, letting him know she's keeping up. "I ment to have it back under your pillow before you were back, but it's more damaged than I realized. I'm impressed at the mods you've got on it, barely legal if I'm guessing your age right, and honestly some of them got fried. I can fix them, but it's going to take some time. Alright?"

The way he explains things to her, almost reminds her of her father, and she wonders if he's got kids of his own.

"Alright." She responds, breathing out a sigh of relief that it hadn't been outright confiscated.

"Good, now just relax. I see Dr. Evers coming. Probably coming to check on that arm." Williams leaves then and is right about the Doctor.

The first thing he does is scan her and get to work getting her hooked back up to an IV. "You certainly know how to get people's attention." It sounds like he's scolding her. "I hope the Commander knows what he's getting himself into." The Doctor mutters.

Jane looks up at him in confusion. "What do you mean?" As the meds begin easing the pain away she's able to focus better on abstract thoughts, like what the Doctor could possibly mean by that comment.

"Nothing. Try to get some rest. If it helps, I can tie your arm to your chest to remind you to keep it still." Dr. Evers gives her the sort of look that says she's one of his more problematic patients. Jane feels bad for causing him trouble.

"Actually, a sling of some sort would be really nice." She gives him an apologetic smile and sighs when he leaves to go get her one.

The sling he brings back is very comfortable and she's glad she doesn't have to try to keep it still on her own anymore. The doctor tells her to behave, like it's a medical order, and she does her best to follow it.

* * *

This is kind of a filler chapter, because I mostly wanted to know for myself what's happening on the ship and with her. And because I wanted to have Ashley's dad in another chapter. Next chapter will be a bit more interesting. I promise. XD


	9. Chapter 9

Jane spends much of the day sitting quietly on her cot, searching the extranet for more information on biotics; specifically concerning humans. She wants a better idea of what could happen to her now that someone knows what she can do. All she can find though is that the privately run Biotic Acclimation and Temperance Training facility was recently shut down without any reason listed. There also isn't any information about the humans who'd been there or what kind of training they'd been receiving. Or, even where they are training now, if they're still training.

Generally, she considers herself good at ferreting out the information she wants, but there just isn't anything out there. 'At least there's nothing for someone who doesn't know how or where to begin hacking.' She muses to herself.

Giving up, she decides to look through the Alliance's recruitment site. Her determination to 'kill all slavers' (no matter how vague a goal it is) has shifter her focus from learning how to save lives, to learning how to take them. And what better way to do that is there than to join the military?

It's mid-afternoon by the time anyone approaches her with anything other than to hand her a ration bar or check her IV. She's surprised to see its Commander Anderson who walks up to her to talk.

"How are you feeling Jane?" He asks kindly. Jane is somewhat relieved to have someone who genuinely wants to know.

She sighs a little though, turning off her omnitool to talk to him, unsure of where exactly to start. "Honestly Commander," She starts out hesitantly, "I don't know. One minute I feel like killing something, then I just want to start crying again, or I just feel empty. But then, I also feel all right, like I can handle all of this just fine. Then it all starts over again. It, helps when I can focus on something." She says with a wave of her wrist where her omnitool sits dormant. She looks up at him. "What am I supposed to do from here on out? I don't have any other family, and I couldn't go back to the arm and try to live there after all this." She watches him nod, like he's confirming something to himself.

"Come with me Jane. Captain Hackett and I would like to speak with you." Anderson says with a small hand gesture toward the elevator.

Jane nods and stands, bringing her IV stand with her; she's grateful to him for some kind of direction, even if that direction is currently just a talk. When they reach the comm. Room, it sinks in that she's actually meeting _Captain Hackett_, a man she learned about in class and at home. By all accounts, the man before her is a true hero. She wonders if he'll live up to the image of him she has in her head.

As they enter, Captain Hackett is going over information on the display, no doubt logistics on what to do with what's left of the colony and its survivors. Jane believes much of who're left will go back and rebuild, but Jane cannot do it herself.

"Captain," Anderson says, announcing their presence. "This is the young woman I told you about. Jane Shepard."

Captain Hackett turns around, and at first, Jane only sees the hard military career and unconsciously stands a little straighter. But then he smiles just a little and the sincerity of it puts Jane at ease.

"Miss Shepard, I'm sorry for your loss. The Commander tells me your parents were good people, good soldiers. The galaxy is a lesser place without them." Hackett holds out a hand for Jane's', and even though it's a little awkward to use her left hand to shake, she reaches out to take it. He clasps it gently but firmly between both of his.

"Thank you sir." Jane can see how this man successfully led men through impossible battles. Something about him compels her to believe in not only him, but also what he says

When he lets go of her hand, he gets down to business. "Now, Miss Shepard, may I call you Jane?" When she nods her ascent, he continues. "Jane, Anderson told me about where he found you, and that you showed signs of biotic ability. However, there seems to be no record of this being the case anywhere. Care to fill me in on why that is and what happened down here?" The Captain asks; pinning her with a look that makes her feel like a child caught doing something that she shouldn't. Her eyes widen as he talks, and she realizes that's exactly what's happened.

She explains how she hid her abilities so that her parents wouldn't feel obligated to send her away, and what she remembers about the day her world stopped. Hard to believe it was only yesterday, it feels like a lifetime ago already. She omit's the more personal parts of her relationship with Ractis, seeing them as unnecessary and potentially damaging to his memory.

Parts are still difficult to get through, and she has to stop more than once to blink back tears and clear her throat. She doesn't notice she's shaking until Anderson places a steadying hand on her shoulder.

When she finishes, the Captain looks mildly angry and she wonders if she's just sealed her own doom.

His voice is filled with sympathy however, when he says, "I'm sorry you had to go through all that Jane. The Alliance should have done more to protect you and your family."

To have someone say out loud one of her angriest, most unfair to anyone thoughts, it's as if the dam she'd been building to keep her tears behind it blasted apart. She's mortified when they begin rolling swiftly down her cheeks, and she quickly tries to wipe them away. She's glad however that she hasn't broken down again into sobs.

Anderson wraps an arm around her shoulders, giving her a light squeeze; being the same quiet support for her that he'd been when he told her about her parents. The Captain gives her a handkerchief, such an old-fashioned notion, but it helps her clean her face and gather her emotions back into place.

"Jane, recently Humanity's biotics program was shut down and the military has taken over. I'm not saying we have it all figured out, but we're getting the necessary help now." The Captain says after Anderson lets her go.

She realizes that the way they continue on with what they need to discuss without calling attention to her crying, that these two men expect her to be able to stand on her own two feet, but will be here to support her when she needs it. 'What it must be like to be a part of their crew.' She thinks in wonder.

Nevertheless, she pulls herself out of her thoughts and nods at the Captain. "I was just looking up information on what the Alliance has for biotics today. There wasn't a lot to read. So far, everything I kind of know how to do I learned from Asari texts on the extranet."

Hackett nods, not particularly surprised to hear that. "Young lady, you take initiative, from the sound of it you're a good shot, and for your first time you did remarkably well under fire. Some of the other colonists still can't speak. Period." Jane is surprised to hear this, but she hadn't exactly tried talking to her neighbors while sitting on her cot. "We want to send you to Arcturus Station. That's where we're currently training our biotics, and when you're old enough; we'd like you to consider joining the Alliance. We could use someone like you."

Jane stares at him with her jaw dropped slightly. She's in shock, but really, this is what she was wanting, so how can she even consider saying 'no'? "I… All right. Thank you." She says as a kind of blanket statement for everything, eloquence leaving her for the time being.

"We won't be sending you off alone. Anderson here has volunteered to be your legal guardian until you're old enough. It that's all right with you. We can just as easily let the higher ups pick someone for you. A woman perhaps." Captain Hackett informs her, seeming to know about what she's been worrying. Though when she's older, she'll realize that all teenagers in her situation worry over things like this.

Jane looks over at the Commander, her previous shock carrying over to this new information. "Are you sure you want to? Give up everything out in space and be stuck in one place for two years?"

Anderson chuckles, as if he's already had to answer these questions from the Captain. "If that's your only concern, then I'm glad. But yes, I'm sure. I found you. I knew your mother. I not only feel responsible for you, but I can see that same determined spark your mother had, in you. I _want_ to help you Jane. If you'll have me."

Jane smiles sincerely and nods. "I'd be honored sir."

Both men chuckle. "You can definitely see the military influence in her life right there. You'll do fine out on Arcturus." Hackett says, making Jane blush.

"Is there anything from home you want to go back for?" Anderson poses the question slowly, not sure how she'll react.

At first, she recoils from the idea, but she slowly nods. "Yes, there are a few things I can't leave behind."

* * *

I always felt like Shepard and Anderson's relationship is a little too close to be solely from the time they've known each other in the military. Because honestly, how often would they have really come across one another if one of them didn't actively seek the other out? Maybe my head cannon is a little strange, but I always felt like they're closer than is strictly said. Something about the way they behave towards one another. They're close, and I love it.


	10. Chapter 10

It's a few days later, after the Alliance and remaining colonists figure out what is going to happen with Mindoir that Jane finds herself standing outside her home again. The pre-fabricated modules that make up the place where she grew up withstood the attack remarkably well. Only the front door and windows are blown out.

The farm itself is pretty torn up though, and Jane does her best not to look at it.

She leads the way inside, followed closely by the Commander and two of his crewmates. She stops inside the kitchen and looks around sadly. Bullet holes littler the walls and cabinets, no doubt having destroyed all their dishware. Running a hand through her loose hair, she lets the long blonde locks fall over one eye; a lame attempt at hiding from the truth.

"They didn't die here did they?" She asks, not really wanting to know all the details.

"No child, not here." Anderson's voice is a soothing balm. She doesn't know how he knows what to say to her, but she's incredibly grateful to him.

Taking a deep breath, she heads first to her parents room to collect the photos from their digital frames, grateful now that her parents had wanted to document so much of their lives together.

Ever practical, her mother ad gone over with Jane where all their important information was stored and what to do with it should anything happen to them. So she retrieves the OSD and places it on the bed, the start of her pile of things to take.

Jane had already been given their omnitools, but now she searches out their dogtags and medals, feeling like she should keep their contributions to the Alliance close to her. She finds her dad's old duffle bag and places her treasures inside. She finds her great-grandmother's leather jacket, lovingly cared for by her mother and puts it on. A relic from Earth and a piece of family she can take with her everywhere.

Moving to her own room, she grabs her data pads, her favorite clothes (quickly changing into a set); knowing full well she'll probably never be able to afford plant based material clothing again, and her stuffed wolf. Snuffles has been with her as long as she can remember. He holds a lot of her tears and memories safe, she can't imagine leaving him behind.

Anderson's team lets her go about her business, keeping watch for trouble just in case. When Jane emerges from the rooms, Anderson asks if she's ready. She shakes her head. "No. I need to go out to the barn. The rest of my parent's weapons are out there. I can't leave them here."

Anderson nods and the team moves out. As they draw closer to the barn, they hear movement inside. "Jane? Any animals we should know about?" The Commander asks quietly. The way she sets down her duffle bag and draws her pistol is confirmation enough, but as she shakes her head he tells her to watch their backs outside while they investigate.

Anderson and his squad move inside and Jane waits as patiently as she can. She wants to go inside with them, but she's not as good a shot with her left hand, what with her right arm strapped to her chest. And in the deepest part of her stomach, she's privately afraid. This isn't like before when there was no other choice. Here, now, she could run. Really run away.

She takes several deep steadying breaths, trying to remain calm and listen for gunfire.

After several agonizing minutes, Anderson and his team reemerge, leading an old man out of the barn. Jane recognizes him.

"Mr. Stevens!" She exclaims as she holsters her weapon and moves to hug him. "I can't believe you're alive." Relief washes over her as the older man hugs her in return.

"Jane. I can't believe it. Thank the Lord you're alright. I thought for sure you'd be taken. A pretty girl like you would have been a prize to those bastards." Mr. Stevens pulls back and holds her chin, examining the angry red line running across her face. "Looks like you've been through a lot."

Jane nods her head, pulling free of her neighbor. "It's a long story. But what about you? Why were you in the barn?" She knows there's quite a few weapons in there, but they're hard to find unless if you know where to look, and he looks unarmed.

His expression takes on a tone of shame and he averts his eyes from her. "I hid, when the attack started. I was out in the field when the batarians struck, and at the first sign of trouble I ran for the barn. Saw your parents headed that way. But after they armed themselves they left again. Put up such a fight the batarians sisn't bother looking in the barn. Too busy trying to stay alive themselves I think."

Jane places a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure my parents are proud, knowing they died saving your life."

"I'm so sorry Jane. If you want, you can come live with me until you figure out what it is you want to do with your life now." The old man offers, and Jane is grateful for it.

"Thank you Mr. Stevens, but I already know what I'm going to do. I'm going to Arcturus, and from there the military."

Mr. Stevens nods. "Alright girl. Follow your heart and you'll never be let down." He says with a pat on her head.

They part ways soon after, Mr. Stevens finally returning to his home now that the slavers are well and rightly gone.

Jane picks up her duffle bag and gives Anderson a nod before heading into the barn. The Commander follows her in, not wanting to leave her alone; even though he's sure it's safe. The rest of his team waits outside while Jane leads Anderson to a wall.

Pressing her hand against a spot on the wall, two levels of panels open and slide out to shelves. One is a gun bench, the other a weapons rack filled with several pistols, a couple of assault rifles, and a shot gun. Pressing her hand against a different spot opens up a compartment filled with all their weapon mods.

Anderson whistles lowly, "Looks like your parents definitely knew the risks of living out here on the frontier and took it seriously." He notices the empty slots from where the Shepards had come and armed themselves. They'd been found on the road about a mile from the main colony. Trying to get to Jane no doubt.

"Yeah, they did. Didn't do them as much good as it should have though." Jane sighs as she tenderly adds the weapons to her duffle bag. "That's why I know my way around a gun. Always be prepared and all that Boy scout stuff. I realize it's technically illegal for me to own all these right now, but can you take care of them for me until I can?"

"Of course. They'll be waiting for you on your eighteenth birthday." Anderson assures her.

Nodding, Jane shoulders the duffle bag. "Alright then. I'm ready to go."

* * *

Sorry it's been so long since I updated. Been a little nuts on my end of the world. I'll try to move things along more. I'm super excited to get her out to Arcturus and then off to boot camp. Awesome things will happen! I promise. :) Just stick with me. And to all those who have reviewed my story, I love you guys! I can't tell you how excited I get whenever someone sends some feedback.


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